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The current period marks a full decade since the phrase “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s response is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {